Ep 26: If you only know pain and suffering you do not fucking know what love is
It is an epidemic in our society that pain and suffering is just accepted as love without question.
No it is not your purpose to feel worthless, abused, be yelled at, cheated on, hit, or controlled!!
What the fuck!
I get it dude. I made all the excuses to myself.
No one's relationship is perfect, he'll change, blah blah blah...
I literally did not know anything else besides chaos, anger, pain and suffering so I slapped all that shit into one box.
My love box was my pain box.
We are women and our super power is opening up like a beautiful flower to receive.
It's so not your ego's first choice to be vulnerable you're right about that, but you're only lying to yourself when you say that numbing protects you because you sure as shit can not feel love when you're covered in an energetic steel layer of fat/starving, anger, anxiety, pain, GUILT, shame and insecurity.
I open up about Chris and my fear of being hurt again because I literally didn't trust myself to see the difference between eating dog shit and my favourite dessert.
But gawd damn he rose up to the occasion and mama chose perfectly.