Video Transcription

Lani: (00:00)

Hello in this video, I am talking about how to let go of trying to be right. How to let go of the mind story that, Oh my God, this is wrong. And Oh my God, this is right. having our self worth and our state of presence be connected to, Oh, if I’m right, then I could be present and happy, but if I’m wrong, I can’t. Or if they’re wrong, I can’t. So we’re gonna freaking smash through that. It is so freeing. It is a game changer, but before we get into it, please hit the subscribe button. So you get notified every week when I released Epic videos, hit the bell icon and hit the like button. It helps so much more than you can know. Our vision is to help a million women by the end of this year. And we need your help to do it.

Lani: (00:41)
YouTube has an algorithm as per my team tells me so, okay. And if you’re new to my channel, I’m Lonnie and I have helped thousands of women dressed in the, you know, the beginning of this year, break through the idea that I have to be good after to be right. The perfectionism, how to totally let that go. So we can, instead of judging ourselves all freaking day and judging other people day, Oh, we can just be, it takes so much energy to try and be right and good. And then judge other people. And if they’re right or good, so let’s get into it. I’m going to start with a story. I remember when I first moved to Bali, I heard, I must’ve been like, I don’t know if it was a yoga teacher or if it was like a YouTube video, but this dude was like, Oh my gosh, humans are so judgmental, like just specifically say for driving.

Lani: (01:35)
So we think that our driving speed is perfect. And we think that anybody else that drives faster than us is reckless. How dare they? And we think that anybody that drives slower than us is a freaking idiot. And they’re trying to cause traffic because how, why would they go that slow? So we gauge driving based on us. I do it perfectly. I do it right. Anyone who’s faster than me is wrong. Anyone who slower than me is wrong. And I had a really big gig, a lot of that. And I think about that every day, because isn’t that just the way that we like do the rest of our life. We’re like, I’m doing it perfectly and everybody should do it this way, or we don’t do it perfectly, but we expect everyone else to still do perfectly. Like it’s just so mind blowing and so crazy.

Lani: (02:19)
So one of the things that I want to bring in with this as money, because I know that money is a huge trigger for spiritual women. I had the gnarliest scarcity stories ever let me know in the comments, if you’ve got some serious scarcity, if you feel guilty about spending $5, or if you’re constantly feeling like there’s not enough, I don’t have enough ho or money. Like it freaks you out, you get anxiety, you have negative attachment to it. It’s like, or you think it’s bad or evil or you shouldn’t want anymore or whatever. I, all those things I used to have. So let me know in the comments, if you can resonate, if you have some serious scarcity going on, and then specifically it’s like, dude, I heard a, not that long ago, say that her Reiki teacher, and this is so common for spiritual teachers, like masters are like, you can’t charge.

Lani: (03:09)
You have to take donations. So she was like, my Reiki teacher told me that I’m not allowed to charge because that’s like evil. And like, you know, I’m going to get bad karma. And I am only allowed to take donations if people want to give me a donation. And I was like, okay, well that might be working for them. Like sure. They’re there. It’s not a wrong or right. Thing that that might be working for them. However, if we think that if you, Oh, you charge, Oh, that means you’re evil or vice versa. Like, um, if you don’t charge, that means that you’re like, you’re wrong or whatever. So bringing money in specifically for spirituality engaging, is it wrong or right to charge? Like, I mean, I can’t tell you how many women just go through these first beginning courses of energy work. And they’re told like, yeah, just donations only.

Lani: (04:04)
So what I’m gonna do is share my experience with this. I tried everything. And what I am going to tell you is you have to do what feels comfortable for you in that moment. There were a lot of moments when I did free shit all the time. I tried that I tried charging. I tried free things. I tried, you know, charging a lot, charging a little bit charging a dollar try. Like I’ve tried every single thing. And like, when people are looking, are you like looking for your mentor or your teacher or your mom or your boyfriend or whoever to tell you what to do that in and of itself is the problem. Like not being able to be like, Oh, I can make a decision based on like how I feel like being in my body and being present. And knowing that this in this moment is the perfect step for me to take right now.

Lani: (04:57)
Not wrong, not right. Because dude, I’m always evolving. So shit that I’m doing now would have not worked for me a few years ago and vice versa. Like if I tried to do, when we first started our business, the shit I’m doing now, it wouldn’t have worked like I’m evolving. So I don’t have this like, Oh, you have to charge this much and that much. And you can only do donations and you can only do free. But when we have the idea, that one thing is wrong and specifically with money. So if you’re like, if you’re like, I don’t want it. I think that spiritual people shouldn’t charge. That’s good for you go to somebody who doesn’t charge. I do so many free YouTube videos, free podcasts, free nuggets on Instagram, free Facebook nuggets. I have a free workshop, which, you know, the link is in the description.

Lani: (05:43)
I’ll talk more about that at the end. Do you freeze shit? Then do shit. That’s free. That’s fine. That’s okay. Now from my experience, when I like gave stuff for free, I never ever, ever had the women who I gave the programs to for free do it ever. They didn’t, they didn’t have anything to lose. They got it for free. They didn’t show up. They didn’t do the work. They didn’t really care about it. It was like, ah, like I never ever have gotten results from a program that I have run that where I gave it for free. So I was like, Hmm. Okay. Well, my deal was like, I want to get results. Like, is it wrong that I’m giving shit for free? No. Is it wrong that they’re not showing up? No, but let me try something in a new way. Let me evolve and try something new.

Lani: (06:34)
So coming in

Lani: (06:36)
Back to the idea of money, is it wrong to charge if you’re spiritual, is it wrong to charge for your services or is it right to charge? I just believe that money is impact. And so when I was doing donation or when I was giving free stuff or when I wasn’t charging, I wasn’t able to donate anything. I couldn’t donate. And I, I, I, in my mind, I was like, there’s not enough for me. And the reason that I didn’t charge was because I felt like I was unworthy to charge. So that was just my own personal journey. I was like, why would anybody pay me? I’m a loser. I was sexually abused. I’m an idiot. I got into an abusive marriage. Like I walked into that. I knew he was abusive when I married him. I knew that it was a really toxic relationship and I still did it anyway.

Lani: (07:21)
Like I had all these stories running through that were connected to unworthiness. So what I want to do is I just want to plant the seed that if we are, it’s really easy to take the pressure off, like, Oh, I don’t have to deal with my scarcity or with my feelings of unworthiness unworthiness. If I just say, Oh, it’s wrong to charge. It’s like really easy cover up. It’s like, okay, well, what about the root of it? Like, you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later. Like maybe right now it might be spirituality, but it’s going to keep coming up until we deal with it. This is how the universe works. She wants us to evolve. Right? So what I realized was like, I can keep doing this thing and like feeling bad about myself and having these stories in my mind.

Lani: (07:58)
Interesting. I’m spiritual. So I don’t care about money or it can really look at the bigger picture and get to the really deep rooted issues that, that I need to freakin heal and release and let go of and evolve. So I can feel fulfilled and happy and proud. And I want to make an impact. I really love donating. I want to make an impact. I want to help kids, baby. So if I’m saying that I want to help kids and I want to make an impact and I want to donate, but then I’m also saying I can’t charge because I’m spiritual. Then there’s a huge contradiction. And then no matter what I do, I’m not going to be happy because if I did make the money, while I had that story running, then I’m selfish and I’m stingy. And if I didn’t make the money, then I’m not good enough because they couldn’t make an impact.

Lani: (08:44)
So what I’m asking you to do is to zoom out. And like I said, in the last YouTube video about not over-complicating, it’s really very simple. If we have really strong feelings about I’m right, and they’re wrong, or I’m wrong, and I’m worthless, then there’s a thing under the thing it’s really socially acceptable to be like, Oh, I just don’t have money because I’m spiritual or use, you know, Oh, I don’t have energy. Cause I’m a mom. Or, you know, whatever. It’s really socially acceptable. And most people just go like, okay, we freaking swallow the lies of, I can’t do this. I can’t have that without going, wait a second. That’s a stupid rule. What if I want to do it? What if I want to be spiritual and make a lot of money? And you know, now I have so much more energy to actually share this abundance.

Lani: (09:34)
Like I’ve never shared more free shit in my life as they have right now. I’ve never done this many podcast episodes, never done this many YouTube videos, never done this many posts. So it’s like, dude, I can do it all. Do you know what I mean? Like if I just had the idea that it was wrong to charge and I wouldn’t ever have gotten to this point, or if I would have never played around with giving free things and seeing how people showed up, when I gave it to them for free, then I wouldn’t have, have gotten here. So instead of looking at everything is wrong or right. Or good or bad, let’s go to this thing under the thing, zoom out a bit and see what the real root of it is. Are you afraid to charge? Cause you don’t feel like you’re good enough, are you free to charge because you don’t want your other spiritual colleagues judging you or you, right.

Lani: (10:17)
Like let’s really look at the root of it. And then once we get to the root of it, then it just becomes in this moment, this is the best decision. And I am putting, you know, I’m all in. I feel peace with it. I might be a little scared. I might be a little bit nervous, but I’m not questioning myself if I’m good or bad or right or wrong every step of the way. So before we go in the comments, I want you to tell me one area that you’ve been really judging yourself or others as good or bad or right or wrong. And then after you zoom out, looking at, you know, at the root of it, at what you can really, really, so this scarcity, there’s never enough money or I’m not good enough, like zooming out and seeing, you know, what can I really evolve in myself to free myself?

Lani: (11:03)
Because that SIS is happiness. That is the sweet spot. And that’s where we get to create and share and love and do everything. We freaking watt goosebumps. So like I said, I have, I do have a free workshop and I’m going to share with you my top five tools that have literally transformed my life. So you can actually start using them today. So the link is in the description, sign up for that one ASAP or send it to ESIS for, you know, need some help. And it’s like, damn, you know, she could use some tools right now in a really loving way. I love you so much. I’m going to share some free tools. Don’t forget to subscribe, hit the bell icon, hit the like button and I will see you soon.

Lani: (11:40)
Yeah.