Video Transcription

Lani:

In this video, I’m going to talk about how to make your relationships better by accessing your feminine energy. The amazing thing is you don’t need to have a relationship to become the best version of yourself. You should totally do this while you’re single, rather than try and get a partner to make you feel better about yourself. But before I get in, let’s hit the subscribe button, the bell icon so you’re notified every Tuesday and Thursdays when I share my epic love and energy with you and hit the like button. It helps so freaking much, you couldn’t even believe it. So grateful for that. So I’m talking about, I already have goosebumps. How to make your relationships better by accessing your feminine energy? This has been coming up extremely a lot in my group, since I always like to share what we’re going through and how my clients have up-leveled and it always starts with me. So I have this up level, a problem arises and I’m like, okay so that’s not the solution that I wanted.

Lani:
So I take a look at myself and where I can be more inflow and more connected to my feminine, because that is always the answer. It’s so counterintuitive to the ego to think, oh my gosh, I’m my strongest when I’m in flow. We initially have been primed by society and brainwashed to feel like, oh, here, this is how you get certainty. You control everything, but we can’t control anything. So we’re just like fighting this invisible dragon going I’m so in control and we’re not. The only thing we can control is how we feel. So again, like I said, do not comment and be like, I don’t have a relationship Lani. Obviously it’s like okay, so if you want a relationship and you don’t have one, then this is the perfect opportunity to do the inner work on you because everything on the external is just a reflection of where we are and what we deserve and not in the sense of you’re not good enough.

Lani:
But in the sense of you don’t believe you’re worthy of an incredible relationship of you not having to prove your worth, of you not having to feel insecure, of you not having to beg for love or hide or play small or quiet down or not like feel we’re worthy of that. But the problem is we don’t believe it. So I am always like, dude, I just chat really quickly. Take a quick check in about, okay, obviously my reality is a reflection of my energy. So what do I want that I don’t have? And then I just like do the inner work, like, you know Kung Fu Panda, the master, how he’s all do do, he does these little check-ins. I just do these energetic check-ins and I like correct the controlling, masculine energy that doesn’t trust and then I just completely open up to flow. So I like to use the word like open up like a flower. I can actually see when a woman embodies, connects to her feminine energy, totally comes into flow and the word that I use is trust.

Lani:
So you can use safe or connection or freedom, whatever word, because it’s not the word that’s the prayer. It’s the feeling. So you don’t need to use my words. I mean, if I said, pick your favorite song, you’re not going to pick my song, but our favorite songs are going to give us the same feelings. So I’m not telling you, like, as if you’re a five year old in kindergarten, I’m going, hey, here’s the formula, the skeleton. And then you fill in the blanks because everybody can do this. It’s just if you want to because if you get everything that you say you want, then you can’t complain about not having what you don’t want anymore. So whatever word feels good. I want you to write it in the comments. Again, mine, it’s like complete and total trust.

Lani:
I don’t have to make the fucking sunrise. It’s not my responsibility to like go knock on people’s doors and be like, are you letting God into your heart? Like that, I can’t control free will. What I can do is completely trust in the knowing, in the oneness and totally enter this beautiful feminine flow state. And it’s like the waters, what I’ve been doing, all these meditations for my clients. And we’ve just been completely up leveling and accessing the feminine. And it doesn’t matter if we’re gay or not. It means being embodied and trusting.

Lani:
So there’s two places we can be. We’re either in our head and we’re not trusting and we have all these excuses why it’s not working. So it’s this very masculine, controlling energy. And we’re saying, I want all these things, but we’re not available to receive them. And so then if we have to, like I’ve gone through this so many times and every time Chris and I have these up levels, it’s like, oh my gosh, I’ve just completely been living in flow longer. So if you haven’t ever been able to trust because you’ve had a rough life, we’ve all had trauma, we all have problems. I’m not saying, oh, you should be numb. I’m saying, yeah, of course we know why you’re not trusting and why you’re afraid. Anybody who’s been hurt like that, that would be the first reaction to stay safe. And I’m also saying that that’s not the way to completely connect to your feminine.

Lani:
So everybody wants me to give them this magic pill. Like I feel afraid Lani and I don’t want to feel afraid. I want everybody to, I want the assurance. I want to skip this step of fear. I want to skip the step of pain and got a little siren coming by. A lot of sirens lately. We’re just going to skip, wait a minute till it passes. City life with the sirens. So what everybody wants is they’re like, oh, hey, hey, I know you’ve given me the tools. And I see that they worked for everyone else, but I kind of want to prove that it’s not going to work for my problems, but really the only solution ever is to get out of your head and out of your masculine and into your feminine. And obviously we need both energies. I experience this as being a leader all the time.

Lani:
Anytime I have to square a woman up, I go into my masculine, but I don’t live in that state. I am completely embodied and completely in my feminine and I’m aware. I’m like, okay. So in order me to create these boundaries and to be like, we don’t lie, steal cheat or moan, like I go into my masculine to create these boundaries. And then I live and show them how it works by being in my feminine. And so as my programs developed. So in my purpose program, it’s women all coming in, in their masculine, no trust, always trying to seek out reasons why the one solution that works for everybody won’t work for them and always like fighting the process. And no, I can’t soften and no I can’t trust. I’ve been hurt and I’m so afraid. So there’s a lot of masculine energy.

Lani:
And for the first time they’re being exposed to this flow, to the trust, to the energies, to the miracles and to the feminine. And then as we get into my love program, there’s way more feminine energy. So the masculine energy is way lower because they’ve been working with me. They’ve seen the miracles, I have goosebumps about coming into flow. And so we are our strongest when we’re soft. And again, that’s so opposite of everything that we’ve been taught. So my intention for this video is relationships will not work and they’re always miserable when we come in as this huge force of masculine energy that doesn’t trust because I’m not the creator of life itself or nature. You’re not the creator of life itself or nature. And when you come in, in that energy of I’m controlling everything, it’s me against the world, my back against a wall between a rock and a hard place. And here’s all the times it didn’t work before and wanting to skip that step of feeling the fear of death to open and be vulnerable and come into our body and feel and come into that feminine.

Lani:
That is the only way that these work, it does not work when we have a woman in her masculine. So in this controlling, like totally disconnected from feelings, trying to control a household while you have a man or another woman. So it is true. It’s not just straight or gay, in every couples, all couples, we have this dance between the feminine and the masculine. And the women that work with me know that their strongest state is this feminine. And so immediately when they lean into this beautiful vulnerability of, wow, I have 100% conviction, I’m not trying to control anything, I completely understand that all of my unconditional love and my worth comes from the inside. And then the beautiful side effect is this incredible love to share with our partner.

Lani:
But when we get to that place, it’s like, of course, it’s directly connected to Yoni. Of course, it’s directly connected to a really beautiful, healthy sex drive and self-pleasuring and love making and tingles and tears and connections. I just got goosebumps. So I’ve just had full goosebumps, a really intense two weeks in the business and because we’re growing so fast, one of my philosophies, if you’re not growing, you’re dying. So we’re growing so fast. So we get all these new problems, then I go, okay, so here’s how I’m going to get stronger. Here’s my new formula. And so it always ends up being open up to the feminine, trust and completely lean in and receive this unconditional love. And every time I have this big wave of women who are attracted to me who are even higher and stronger goosebumps again.

Lani:
So all the women that have just come in and said, Lani, I’m ready. Let’s do this. I’m ready to reprogram are higher and they have more feminine energy than the women that came in a few months ago. And so that’s how I gauge like my progress. And I’m like, oh my gosh, the first relationship. So the title of this video is How To Make Your Relationships Better By Accessing Your Feminine Energy. Your first relationship is always the one with you. And it was like a little bit of a sneaky title because you know women always be coming in like, it’s my partner’s fault and we always want them to change. But the truth is the first relationship that you have to trust and lean in and be in your feminine in is the one between you and yourself. So again, that’s why I’m like, dude, a partner, making love with a partner while you are so disconnected from your feminine is not the answer to your problems.

Lani:
It is, be in your feminine, learn how to receive, release the guilt and trust. We cannot control and trust at the same time. It’s impossible. You, you don’t get to do that. You can’t be in your masculine and in your feminine at the same time. And again, the masculine is needed for boundaries, right? I get it, I understand, I’m a leader. I have a lot, a lot of clients happening. However, the masculine is not the answer to that space inside, that feminine energy that we are looking for. And yes, we use it as leaders. And when we make boundaries and when we say no, because our feminine is just this flowing water, just like this openness. And yes, but you have to be able to trust yourself first. And that means knowing like you know that you’re worthy, knowing you’re not going to quit when it gets hard or blame, or like not take the solutions that we know work and trying to look for the easy way out.

Lani:
I want the path of least resistance. I know that this works for everyone else. And I’ve heard you say you were scared to death, but I want to skip all that and I want the magic pill. It’s not going to happen. It’s this total commitment to feeling, to trusting because you’re not going to die if you feel. So the first relationship to make better is the one between you and yourself. And when I first started this journey, I would go like in, because I was in my masculine energy, it’s like a survival mechanism. Like I wouldn’t have survived if I wasn’t trying to control everybody. And so that was a survival mechanism. And so as I started doing this work, I’d be in my feminine and I would be in my feminine because we are embodied, but it would be for such short times during the day. So the difference of me now versus like two years ago or a year ago, it’s not that I’m doing anything different. It’s that I’m doing worked more.

Lani:
So I’m in my feminine during the day more and in flow and trusting Mother Earth more than I’ve ever been in my whole life. And that has been the key to my success. So I really tend to my garden. My first relationship is the one with me. And then of course, that spreads into my temple and my home with Chris, with my partner, and then that beautifully spreads to my clients and then it spreads to these YouTube videos and podcasts and Instagram. So that is where the work is to be done. Let go of the control, lean into the trust or whatever word you chose to put in the comments.

Lani:
Oh, thanks for listening. Let’s hit that like button girl because you know it helps so much. The subscribe button, the bell icon. And if you need more and you’re just ready to like completely lean into the trust and stop controlling what doesn’t work you’ve got to come to my free online workshop. All the details are in the notes. So just head to the description and click on that link now. I have so many juicy videos, so have a scroll through all the other videos I’ve posted and thanks for listening. I’ll see you soon.