Video Transcription

Lani:

Hello, in this video, I’m talking about how to feel sexy AF in your body. Before we get started, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell icon and hit the like button, because it helps so much, and girl, I’m going to give you some serious ass nuggets. Today I’m talking about how to feel sexy in your body, how to love your body, how to feel beautiful in your body, and I thought that it was an appropriate time because I get asked often by grown ass women, not five-year-olds, “What do you eat?” They think that I’m going to give them this magic scroll from King Triton. Whatever Lani eats, the only reason that she has an amazing body, and I’m going to be 39 soon, the only reason that I have this amazing body is because I have this magic recipe of what I eat and it has only to do with food and nothing to do with my energy or mindset.

Lani:
So I’m here to squash all those lies, squash the bullshit, and the reason why I get so excited, I’ll have my partner put one of my old photos when I was in my early ’20s, because the first thing that women do that are struggling with food and their body, and all of that is is confidence, because a woman with a self-confidence would never, ever feel out of control when she eats. Dear God, kids can stop eating when they’re full. This isn’t a crazy, like you need to win the lottery or, oh my God, this is a skill that only you were born without. It’s literally something that we were born with, but as we get sucked into this low self-esteem, I have to be perfect, and we obsess about symptoms, so obviously it’s the food.

Lani:
It’s not the food. It has nothing to do with the food. I don’t even think about am I going to get fat if I eat this? That used to completely, I was like obsessed all day about that. So the reason why I love talking about this is because I know what that feels like. I know what it feels like to be a prisoner and trapped and be searching for that magic scroll from King Triton. I did every diet you can ever imagine. All of my roommates growing up, they will sometimes comment back through college, like my teens, I moved out at 18. So from my teens, all the way, I think the last time I had a roommate in America was in my late twenties, but they all come back on Facebook and joke about my crazy diets that I used to do.

Lani:
Like, I was obsessed. I would just go crazy over the top and work out for like a hundred hours a day, and then I had to have, if there wasn’t a reason, like I’m going to be in my bikini in Lake Havasu, then I didn’t have a reason and I would just punish. I was like, all right, so time to punish. Time to punish yourself to get in that bikini. And everything was like a horrible fight, and so I was pushing, I was pushing and pushing, and you can’t sustain that pushing, you can’t fight. It’s like being on the front lines in battle 24 hours a day. You can’t do that. Nobody can, that’s why they have frigging soldiers switching. It’s not sustainable to be pushing and pushing, and that’s like that masculine energy. And again, that comes from the feeling of unworthiness.

Lani:
I would never punish my body today and I’m not looking at this as a horrible fight and like I’m going into war. I’m like, okay, my body is so beautiful, so sexy, so strong, so flexible and so amazing. But I know what that feels like. I used to struggle so gnarly, and I’ve had conversations with women who were like a hundred pounds overweight and they’re like, “But obviously it’s different for me, because you were never a hundred pounds overweight. I know you were overweight, but you were never a hundred. So obviously it’s harder for me.” So we start talking about how I’m like, “How do you feel about food? What do you think about food? How do you feel about your body?” And so when we talk about it, we have the exact same response.

Lani:
It didn’t matter that I never got to a hundred pounds overweight. I had a horrible, negative, punishing, traumatic relationship with food, the same type that I used to have in my romantic relationships. That’s why I’m like, girl, it’s a symptom. I guarantee that if you’re struggling with food and your body, that is not the only horrible relationship in your life. The way we do one thing is the way we do the majority of our things. And so it was just another symptom of this lack of self-worth and this lack of confidence and not believing that I was worthy of it, that I’m disgusting. Obviously my body’s a horrible thing, and I’m going to make this crazy fight. And I would hurt myself and I was pushing. So I know how it feels to be obsessed, to be addicted and to be taken over by this really gnarly negative food energy.

Lani:
And so when women asked me, “What do you eat? Oh my God, your body must be so good.” They want me to say that I just eat like three pieces of lettuce all day. I know because this is what I used to ask. I would ask questions to prove why I couldn’t have the body that they had because it was different for me and it was harder for me. So I wasn’t coming in wanting to hear the truth. Like I’ll tell a woman it’s my self-worth, it has nothing to do with food. It’s totally the way that I love myself. It has nothing to do with the external. All this is, is a symptom of Lani, loving herself unconditionally and showing up every day to connect to Mother Earth. And if y’all need some help, the first step is going to be do my meditation.

Lani:
So when you’re out of your body, you self-harm, you binge, you starve, you push you. Go on the front lines, you go into battle mode. The only reason that you can do that is if you have low self-worth, low self-esteem and no self-love. So you’ve got to do this meditation. I just released one a few days ago. It’s so beautiful and amazing. I’m going to put the link in the description, and it’s how to be in your body. So when we’re in our mind and that pushing battle mode, it’s anxiety, it’s negative. It’s not positive to feel like this is horrible and miserable, I’m going into battle. And punishment, that’s miserable. So it’s going to totally get you out of your head, which means any anxiety and any fear around this, we can alleviate that by coming into the present moment, because the problem is not the food. The problem is you’re out of your body, and so you can self-harm. The same way people can do drugs. The same way people can cut, the same way people can hurt other humans physically by fighting and saying mean things.

Lani:
Don’t compartmentalize and act like your food thing is different than your relationship thing or your money thing. It’s all connected. So yeah, get down on that meditation, first of all. When I say to a woman it’s my self worth, literally I don’t freak out about what I’m going to eat. I used to sit there and be like, “Are they going to finish that food?” No shitting you?

Speaker 2:
Yes. Are you going to finish that croissant?

Lani:
When we’d go to Vegas with the girls, I was so psycho about food, and when I’d get wasted, I would binge eat. I’m not kidding you. I’d wake up after, we’ll come back to Vegas, but I’d wake up in Newport Beach because we had, let me know if you had the 24 hour Del Taco drive-throughs, and I would go through the drive-through and just grub and binge so hard and wake up with so much food wrappers around and this receipt that was huge. I’m just like, oh my God, I literally ate what a human should eat in a week last night when I was blacked out wasted. I’ve fallen asleep in food wrappers before. I’ve literally fallen asleep with a jar of peanut butter on my stomach. Not kidding you.

Lani:
So we go to Vegas and I’m wasted, and this was just my, I need this attention. I need my body. You know how in Vegas, when you’re done eating, you put your food outside your door? Like in any hotel, it doesn’t have to just be in Vegas specifically. So when you’re done eating with room service at any hotel, you put the food outside the door, and I would go through and eat the leftover food. I don’t know how I made it out alive out of these years, but part of it was to blow minds, but part of it was I was in such scarcity that I could not fucking stand when somebody didn’t finish a drink or finish their food. It would give me anxiety if there was leftover food. I’d be so out of my body and so disconnected. And I used to say, “I don’t have a full button. Oh, you’re so lucky that you have a full button. I don’t have a full button. I never feel full.” But that’s such a lie. That is so bullshit.

Lani:
There’s no such thing as no full button. There’s such a thing as you’re in your head, you’re out of your body. You’re disconnected, so you’re self-harming. Everybody feels full. It’s just that you’re in your head. So when I tell a woman, “Dude, it’s just my self-love,” and she doesn’t want to hear that because she’s looking for me to prove like, “Oh, it’s harder for me and obviously Lani’s lucky,” so she just ignores it, like I’m not going to write back anyway. And it’s like, if she just took my advice and was like, dude, love yourself, stop punishing yourself. Stop pushing, get out of the masculine, get into flow, be in your body. That’s the only way that you get to have this incredible, like your body is your vessel, you know?

Lani:
So she just ignores it because she doesn’t want that answer. The same thing that I used to ask questions and all I was doing was trying to prove why it was so much easier for that woman to have it all. But obviously it’s harder for me, obviously I’m big boned, obviously I have a slow metabolism, obviously whatever I’ve heard, I’m a mom or whatever, all the excuses. So what we’re going to just completely do, I’m shedding a little bit, I just got out of the shower, is we are going to stop obsessing over the symptom. Stop obsessing over food, stop acting like being skinny or whatever word you use is going to make you happy. Because in my marriage, I was so out of control that the only thing I could control was my body, so I got super anorexic.

Lani:
I wasn’t eating. It was the only thing that I could control. I was so afraid in my relationship and everything was out of control, so I just got fully anorexic. So from the outside in people might be like, “Oh, what a beautiful yoga body. She’s so skinny,” or whatever. But just so we’re clear, if you’re so fucking obsessed and thinking that the food is the thing or having this amazing body will completely make you happy, I had never been lower. That was the lowest, lowest, lowest. I’ve never been lower. I never was more out of control with food or my body. I had gnarliest insomnia. I was balding. My hair was falling out. I had gnarly pain, so BV and gnarly pain in Yoni. So if the answer was food and your body, then why the fuck was I the lowest and most unhappy that I’d ever been, when from the outside in someone would be like, “Oh, she looks amazing in a bikini on Instagram”?

Lani:
Hello? Crack your mind open and stop using these excuses and acting like one thing from the outside is going to save you. A lot of times when I was doing drugs and hanging out with friends who were just doing blow and Xanax and had these tiny, tiny bodies and fake boobs and looked amazing on Instagram in their bikini’s, they were so depressed. They were completely on drugs. They were so unhealthy, not drinking any water, and so that’s obviously not a great formula and you can’t sustain it. You can’t starve for your whole life. So the answer to your question about what do I eat? What does Lani eat? Why is your body so amazing? Oh, she must eat three pieces of lettuce. I don’t. I eat whatever my body is craving. And because I love my body and I have so much respect for myself, I eat my greens every day. I love fruit. I love veggies. I love my protein.

Lani:
Just like the reason why I get a great night’s sleep every night is because I love myself. My body is my temple, because I have a lot of respect myself and my standards are so high. Same reason I don’t hang around people that complain. Same thing. I don’t control the world, but I just have really, really high standards. I’ve raised my standards. So one of the biggest lies that I used to tell myself was, “I am doing everything. It’s obviously my metabolism. It’s obviously I’m big boned.” I would say that all the time. So embarrassing. In my early twenties I would balloon up and then I would take these gnarly diet pills and I’d starve, and then I’d get crazy ace, because I was putting all these chemicals in my body, and then balloon and go down. I was just trying to get this external validation, like, “Oh, look at your body. It’s so amazing.”

Lani:
I wasn’t doing it because I loved myself. I was doing it because I hated myself. You can never sustain that. It’s so exhausting, and it’s so miserable. So if we can quit focusing on a symptom and understand that 80% of everything in your life is not a strategy, it’s not a diet. I don’t ever put any of my clients on diets. Nobody’s five. I don’t ever tell anybody what to eat. Dear God. I had somebody be like, “Well, maybe you can teach me how to figure out when I’m full,” and I had a giggle because I remembered that, one of my crazy diet at times, I told my brother, I was like, “Okay, I have no self control, so if you see me in the kitchen eating bad shit, because I want to lose weight, you freaking get it on my hands. You fucking smack it out of my hands.” I’m like, “Seriously.” And he was like, “Okay, okay.” He loved the challenge.

Speaker 3:
Run.

Lani:
So one night, Little Miss Piggy goes in the kitchen to eat when I’m not hungry, to just numb, because I’m so out of my body and I’m not hungry, but it’s anxious, it’s like smoking or this quick release. Like, “Oh, I’ll binge eat,” that’s like this coping mechanism. So I go in the kitchen, I’m trying to stuff my face with some shit that I don’t want, and my brother comes in and I can see him in the hallway and we meet eyes and I’m trying to stuff it in my face and he freaking lightening speeds over like Sonic. I don’t even know who he got to me so fast. I’m like right about to get into my mouth and he grabs my hand, and I’m like, I’m trying to eat it and he’s shaking my hand, and then he flings the food out of my hand. And I’m like, “Thanks, brother. That was a close one.”

Lani:
It’s like, do you want me to fucking follow you around your house and shake your fucking hand when you’re about to put a cake in your mouth when you’re not hungry? Do you think that’s a sustainable way to have the body of your dreams? No, no, no. That’s crazy. That’s horrifying. That’s not as sustainable way. I can’t follow you around and, “You’re not hungry, bitch. Quit being a little piggy.” Dude, that’s crazy. That’s weird. That’s like being a prisoner. I’m not going to follow you around and smack your hand. What we need to do is get to the root of it when you actually want learn how to love yourself. Because if you’re like the ones that message me and you’re looking for me to say, “Oh yeah, I just starve myself, and you’re not going to have this body ever because I’m lucky.” If you’re one of those, then you’re not ready to do the deep work.

Lani:
It ain’t going to happen, so quit focusing on the food and just stop, because it’s spinning you in a circle and it’s exhausting and it’s making everything worse. You’re focusing on a symptom, not the problem. You’re A, you want to get to B, and you’re just going like this. So no matter how busy or exhausted, or how much you suffer, how much you diet or how miserable you are, ain’t going to get you to B. You’re going in a circle. So the root of it and the way that we actually learn to love our body and feel sexy in our own skin is the inner work. Literally everything is energy. Literally everything is a belief system, and I’ve had to switch a lot of those because you’ve known how I’ve grown up with the gnarly fear of not being good enough and I need to be perfect.

Lani:
So the deep work to get from where you are now to where you want to be by feeling so sexy in your body and having the body of your dreams, is by doing the inner work and changing your belief systems for self-love, a hundred percent confidence and self-worth. Ain’t no other way you’re going to get there, baby girl. So if you’re ready to do that, if you’re not the ones that want this magic pill, and if you’re not the one that want me to tell you, “Oh, it’s too hard for you. You can’t do it.” If you actually are ready to be the woman that you say you want to be, then you’ve got to come to my free workshop. All the details are in the description. So get in there now. I go way deeper on this, and it’s just amazing and incredible. And don’t forget to hit the bell icon, the subscribe button, the like button. Check out my other videos on YouTube. They’re so fucking helpful and exactly how I got from rock bottom suicidal to feminine leader and icon and full of self-worth. Thanks for listening. See you soon.