In this video I talk about why you should be seeking to serve first, before ever asking for anything in return.

As Gary V would say… jab, jab, jab, jab, hook (give, give, give, give, take).

Video Transcript

Lani:

Hello. In this video I’m talking about seeking to serve and help others before you try and freaking take. Before we get started, hit the subscribe, the bell icon, like this video. It helps so much. We will be helping a million women really soon. And it’s a freaking algorithm so it helps so much when you like it and of course, sharing it with people, with women that you know would totally resonate and get some great nuggets of help from this.

Lani:
So, today we’re talking about serving. I already have goosebumps. Seeking to serve before you sell, seeking to serve before you ask for something, it’s such a trip like… I know this because I used to be the woman that would message, “Give me, give me, give me.” I’m taking, I’m taking, I’m taking. And so, one thing that my partner and I, one of our philosophies is like, dude, we would never reach out and just be like, “Give us this.” It’s like, “Hey, here’s what we can offer and here’s what you’re going to get out of it.”

Lani:
If you’re new to my channel, I’m Lani, and I’ve helped thousands of women all over the world get into their bodies, be really kind giving women. We’ve actually just saved our first child through Operation Underground Railroad. So we have freed our first child out of human trafficking, out of sex slavery. We raised $12,000, which is about how much it takes to save a child, the Operation Underground Railroad, in less than five days. It’s been a week today. We’ve already raised over $13,000. So, the original goal was save one child in honor of one of our incredible sisters. One of my beautiful clients who passed away, in honor of Rosie. And now the new goal is to save as many children as we can.

Lani:
The reason I wanted to touch on this is because I have been on these gnarly up and down roller coasters. And depending on who I’ve surrounded myself with and what coach I was working with, I would go from, “I’m not giving anything for free. Who do they think they are?” Then to having no self worth and begging for love, begging for people to work with me saying yes for pennies, even though it was horrible and it wasn’t good for either one of us.

Lani:
When I first started, so I taught yoga for a long time, moved to Bali. That’s when I moved there in desperate seek of like, dude, I’m dying in Southern California. I have no purpose. I am an empty shell of a woman. I feel like I’m soulless. I am miserable and unhappy. I’m binge-eating, I’m using drugs, I’m boozing. I’m so fucking desperate for a man, it’s embarrassing and I feel like crap. So I started my journey in Bali and I was really poor. I didn’t have a refrigerator for the first four months that I lived in Bali. I only could eat twice a day. I taught yoga just a few hours a week. I was super, super poor. I had tapped into living in the moment and being one with nature. I started surfing and so I was like, Holy shit, I feel like super, super happy way happier even though I’m super poor, but I’m in nature all the time. I have freedom. I’m independent, I’m on my motorbike and I was totally digging it.

Lani:
And then the scarcity would come in. So if I had somebody that came to yoga and didn’t pay, I would freaking lose my mind, take it super personally. We had kind of like an honest box. So like, okay, now go put your money in the box up front. And some people legit just would walk out and not pay. I would tell everybody that I knew about it. I wanted to be a good person. I wanted to be a good yoga teacher. I wanted to create these really positive experiences for these people. But I would always be like, what if somebody doesn’t pay? And so I wasn’t seeking to serve first. I was really poor. I never donated to anybody. I didn’t even have enough money to buy my own fucking dessert or facials or get my hair done. I didn’t get a cut for a year and a half. I trimmed it myself. Didn’t get a fucking pedicure for a year and a half for two years. It was something crazy.

Lani:
So I had this underlying scarcity. I had this underlying, there’s not enough. And my life was a living embodiment of it. It was like, it wasn’t enough. I lived in really like nasty cockroach, rats. I mean, there’s cockroaches and rats everywhere in Bali, but my homeys were like bunking with me. It was gnarly. So I had really, really low standards. I lived in a house with mold for a year because I’d already paid for it. And I can’t pay for a new house. So I just had really low standards.

Lani:
Now, specifically in business, what I see so often is people always reach out either… Well, it doesn’t happen often to me, because my standards are so high and I’m like top fucking clue. Like dude, seriously, my vibe is not one that’s like, I’m desperate for money. I will happily say no, if it’s not a good fit and I’m not available for… I don’t do this because like, Oh, I have to prove to people that I’m good enough. I’m here to help women who really want to make a move and take responsibility for their own happiness. So I’m not going to drop my standards because I need money. That’s not how this works.

Lani:
But when I see and it doesn’t matter if… The most important thing. First let’s figure this out. What’s the most important thing that you would love to accomplish? What’s your biggest goal? What’s the thing that’s most important to you in your life right now? Put that in the comments. So figure that out. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s a healthy body. Maybe it is forgiveness with your family. Maybe it is your business. Maybe you’re trying to get clients. So just whatever, it’s amazing. It’s awesome. It’s also great to have clarity and know where you’re going. So put that in the comments. What is the biggest goal that you’re working on? What is the most important thing to you now?

Lani:
So regardless of what it is, I’m just going to use the example for clients. But when I see women posting and all they’re doing is asking for things like, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. And I get that because this is the reason why for me personally, I believe that everything is energy. I’ve had business coaches who were like, “Message everybody in your fucking…” I’ve got blocked from Instagram. Like, “You need to message everybody and send them the links, so they buy it from you.” And I’ve literally got blocked and then once I got blocked from sending out too many messages because obviously Instagram’s like, “What the F, you crazy B? Quit stalking people. You just messaged a 100 people in freaking 30 minutes.”

Lani:
And when I’d get blocked, the business coach would be like, “Yeah, that’s a good job.” It was just so pushy. So masculine. There was no seeking to serve. Chris was totally like, we got to do YouTube. YouTube is amazing. Gary V says, serve, serve, serve, serve. That’s what we got to do. We had a business coach that was like, “No, we don’t give anything away for free.” So even though I didn’t have high self worth, I acted like, “Oh, I’m so amazing. I’m not giving anything away for free.” So I wasn’t seeking to serve before I was going to get clients. I was seeking to serve before I asked for something.

Lani:
We were broke. I hated it. I wanted to quit. There were six months where I didn’t get anything done. I was like, this is miserable. I have no clients. I’m not working. I’m online every day saying, “Oh, I’m a coach.” I’m miserable, I’m boring. At least when I freaking taught yoga, at least I had somewhere to go. So it was miserable and it didn’t work. We never donated to anybody. We don’t even fucking think about that. There was no sharing. There was no donating. There was no gifting. It was like, there’s not enough for me. So when I read posts like that, I’m just like, it’s that such like snake energy, like strangle everything. Like, give me, give me, give me. Mine, mine, mine like that. My precious, with the ring, it’s just so freaking stingy. And that’s not the energy that makes anybody want to work with you. It’s like, Whoa, I’m going to go do anything, but go near that person.

Lani:
So a lot of my clients, when they come to me, they want to manifest their soulmate. They want to manifest a relationship. They’ve never been in a healthy relationship and they want to manifest. And so as soon as they come into the program, we bring it very clear, their energy. It’s the same energy. Like I said, it doesn’t matter what goal you’re working on, the bottom line is you’re not seeking to serve. You’re not out there because you’re just like, “Hey, I want to be a good person. I want to share kindness. I want to emanate light when I walk in the room.” What energy do you want to… I thought there was someone. I’m in Portugal. I’m by the window because light’s so good and I thought I had an audience, but it was just someone walking by. We’re good. It’s such a trip. You can see. There’s a little restaurant that opens right by your window. It’s cute. We love Portugal.

Lani:
But when we uncover their dating, what’s really…. go back to the question. What energy do you want to emanate when you walk in the room? Let me know below. Because what happens is when we say that we want this amazing soulmate. It’s like the energy that you’re emanating when you walk in the room, is this really desperate judgmental, bitchy woman. You’re confused why you don’t have your king? Why this amazing partner’s not attracted to you? Somebody’s super amazing and super giving and super confident doesn’t even resonate on the same freaking galaxy as someone else who is low, insecure, desperate. They don’t even align. It’s just literally, it’s the law of attraction. Nobody’s above that. Hello.

Lani:
So it’s like, well, when you’re dating, because dating is fucking fun and awesome. When you’re dating, I always bring in the memories. I still feel like Chris and I are dating. I love him. I get so excited. I get butterflies. When he leaves I miss him. It’s amazing. I fucking love him. We smooch. We have dinner. We hold hands. It’s awesome. But just for instance, because I know it’s like, “Oh yes, seek to serve before you sell.” It’s anything in life. If you’re dating and you’re coming in and you’re not seeking to be this positive, awesome woman, because that’s who you are and you just want a man, I’m just doing this for the [inaudible 00:10:37]. I just need this. Then that’s the same thing. That’s the same snake energy.

Lani:
You’d be super offended if somebody tried to sell something to you and it’s just like, give me, give me, give me. So my intention for this video is seek to serve first. I get it. I had many coaches that were like, don’t give anything away for free. They didn’t donate anything. They even had a lot of money, but they were super stingy and they didn’t have what I wanted because they were disconnected from the feminine. They weren’t making an impact. They weren’t contributing. They didn’t really get results. And yeah, they could charge 20 grand, 10 grand, five grand like that. But they weren’t getting the results. The people coming out of their programs, weren’t like, “Oh my God, my life has changed.” It was like, “Oh God, this is like so stressful. I just have to message everybody in my frigging Instagram list until I get blocked. And then you’re annoying people so bad until some of them just like, say yes, because you’re just so pushy and annoying and not because you really have what they need.”

Lani:
So let’s seek to serve before we do anything else and add value. That’s one of my most favorite philosophies. Chris and I literally live by that. So obviously we have all of our clients… So from January till July, we’d already gotten 500 clients for the year and we add so much value. I do these YouTube videos. I do podcasts every week. I do free workshops. I gift so much shit. I’ve gifted more sessions to my clients. Right now obviously I’m at the level where I’m not gifting people who aren’t in my program free sessions, because when somebody messaged me for one session, I’m like, you don’t want help. You want a magic pill. So when I already have women who are committed, I’m like, “Oh my God, you’re doing amazing. You’re committed. You’re kicking ass. I’m going to reward you.” So I gifted so many sessions, so many free workshops, more than ever during COVID and lockdown.

Lani:
In just a few days, I was telling you about the fundraiser that we did in Rosie’s name and Rosie’s honor. Chris and I donated a $1000 to that. We have monthly donations to operation underground railroad that come out of our bank account. So we already have donated a lot to them. We gifted some amazing gifts to our family. We’ve gifted so much stuff. So just in the span of really short time, we’d already gifted 3000. And that was just in a few days. That’s not even our yearly donations. If you resonate with… Energy is everything, and I believe in the universe and mother earth and I get it. I feel energy. I get goosebumps. Like, oh my gosh, yes, the law of attraction, of course. We get back what we are not what we want.

Lani:
We are the most giving, the most compassionate. We serve more than ever. I have goosebumps. The number one intention is, how can I serve instead of give me, give me, give me? And I do that whether nobody’s looking, I mean, I spend most of my time without cameras on me. It’s not like I’m on camera all day. So 80% of what I do and what I get back is what I’m doing when nobody’s looking. I’m kind to people that I meet on the street, I donate all the time. I’m kind to homeless people and I ask them if they need anything, if they’re sitting outside. It’s what I’m doing when nobody’s looking and I’ve got goosebumps. We’re totally being rewarded for that. We’re being rewarded for being kind. We’re being rewarded for being honest and truthful.

Lani:
I don’t have a million followers on Instagram. I know other women that do, and they are not making a contribution. They don’t have high self worth. They don’t make a lot of money and aren’t able to make an impact. They’re struggling internally. So with a whole bunch of physical ailments and sickness and disease, and the intention isn’t seek to serve. It’s like getting like how much can I get from Instagram? Or how much can I get from this man? So seek to serve, sis. Because this has been the game changer in my life.

Lani:
My clients totally get huge amount of value out of everything that I share. I don’t just try to rip people off and just by fucking messaging as many people as I fucking can on Instagram until my shit gets shut down. I am giving extreme amounts of value, always all the time. I’m seeking to serve. I obviously have high boundaries. I’m not going to get in an argument with somebody who wants to cuss me out or something. I’m not available for that. I’m not available to argue. I have high boundaries. I’m seeking to serve. So whatever it is, that thing that you wrote in the comments, that was the most important thing to you, whatever that is, relationship, money, body, healthy family, whatever. How can you seek to serve before you’re just like, I need this still. So I feel good enough about myself.

Lani:
Let me know in the comments, because it’s such a simple shift that society doesn’t talk about because we’re fed to be really selfish and we’re fed to be like mine, mine, mine. And we’re fed. We’re brainwashed to think if she has it, then there’s not enough for me. When in fact, it’s the opposite. The more I have, the more you have, because we’re all one. We’re not separate. So if you are ready to take this to the next level and actually learn how to make an impact because the world needs more women who are rising up like queens and not more women who are sick and famous on Instagram and selfish and stingy and jealous. The world needs more queens, more women who are ready to make an impact ready to make a move and who love themselves.

Lani:
So if you’re ready for that, you got to come to my free online workshop. The link is in the description. Click there now. End this video. Go click there now. Come in, sis. You’re so worthy of it. You deserve it. And you can see how I seek to serve before anything else. I’m giving you a whole bunch of energy, a whole bunch of value in things that you can start doing now. And don’t forget to subscribe. Hit the bell icon, hit the like button. Thank you for listening and I will see you all next week.