Video Transcription

Lani:

Hello. In this video I am talking about feminine sexual energy. If it made you uncomfortable, good. You need to watch this video two times in a row. Before we get started, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell icon to be notified every week when I release these incredible healing videos, and hit the like button. Our vision is to help a million women and it’s becoming a reality and we need your help.

Lani:
If you’re new to this channel, my name is Lani and I’ve helped thousands of women all over the world, different ages, different backgrounds, different languages, heal their feminine sexual energy. So the reason I’m talking, and I already have goosebumps, the reason I’m talking about this today is because it is taboo. And I held this in for a while. I would talk about this with my one-to-one clients, and the way… Still covered in goosebumps. And I want you to breathe through this. So feeling uncomfortable doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of receiving it. It just means that it’s new.

Lani:
I was so uncomfortable the first time I spoke about this publicly. So I was sexually abused as a child and I hid that from everybody. Didn’t tell my parents, didn’t tell anybody. I slipped it out when I was drunk to a friend who was going to school to be a psychologist. And she was like, “Oh, I guess I’ve chosen the right path. People always do this. They slip out their fucking darkest secrets.” And she was totally kind and accepting, but I was wasted. And then I wanted to fucking die the next day. I was like, “I can’t believe I said that out loud.” And I had so much guilt connected to sex.

Lani:
So I would go either one way, try and be a porn star because that’s, I was like, Oh, if you get attention from a man, then…” And it’s a woman. Either way. I mean, I have plenty of clients who are in love with women and it’s the same programming, which is amazing because it’s our foundations and our self-worth. So it’s not different. It’s all the same. And so I was like, “Okay. So if I get this attention from a man, then I’m doing good. This is how you get attention, right?” I thought my sexual energy all came from outside of me. And because it’s such a taboo topic and immediately it’s like “whore, slut, whore”. So why would we ever put ourself in that situation? So we’ve been primed by society to “Shut up, you dirty little fucking whore. And don’t even ask about that.”

Lani:
And the way that we learn anything as human beings… And I want you to, while you’re watching this, breathe. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. This is new. But this is my sweet spot. This is my jam. I know that my area of genius is to bridge spirituality with sexuality, because I was always taught that they were separate and one was bad and one was good. And that fucked me up really bad, almost died in my marriage that I’m obviously out of. I had somebody actually say, “Are you still in your abusive marriage?” I was like, “Are you fucking high?” Mind-blowing. So I have broken all abusive relationship cycles, and the ones that started with my body first. We love to compartmentalize. “Oh, I make a lot of money and I’m just not a sexual person.” You can’t. That’s bullshit.

Lani:
I had one woman and be like, “I don’t want to be sexy.” I’m like, it’s fucking bullshit. Sexy is not putting on a [Teddy 00:00:03:08]… Teddy. That’s what our parents call it. You remembered in them fucking brochures. I used to see them. Teddies. Whatever you call, lingerie, whatever. It’s not like one porn or one super-sexy woman in a movie war. It has nothing to do with what we’re wearing. It’s how we feel. And you can’t un-sexy. As an essence, our birthright. We are the creators of life. And it’s not because you still have your uterus or because you’ve had children. It’s an essence. As women, this is our birthright. This is our gift.

Lani:
So sit up tall as I’m speaking this truth to you because if you sit and “Uhh,” then again, we’re just perpetuating that, “Oh my God, this is rude. This is bad. This is guilty.” But why does it feel so true then? Why can you take a deep breath? Why are you like, “Yes, I don’t feel good when I feel like a whore?” And I used to then withhold. “Oh, I’m not having sex for a year. That’s going to make me pure.” Because I felt so disgusting for my sexual abuse and from the positions I put myself in to be treated like below a fucking dog. Oh yeah, just… It was horrible. It made me feel so bad about myself. I’d have anxiety. I’d repeat about it. Oh my God. Then I drink and black out and do it again. And I’m like, “What the fuck is wrong with me? This is scary. What is going on?”

Lani:
So we’re going to breathe into this. We’re going to sit up tall, because the way that we do anything as humans is we have to learn about it. You wouldn’t shame… Say that you have a niece or nephew or a kid or somebody, a really cute character from a movie if you don’t have any kids that you love in your life. You would never say, “Hey, you stupid fucking idiot. How do you not know how to write?” if they hadn’t ever been taught how to write. You’d be like, “Let’s talk about this. Let’s practice this. Let’s look at this. You’re learning. Great job. You’re learning. You’re not breaking the pencil and throwing it down and doing a tantrum. You’re here, you have a positive attitude, you want to learn.” And so, because a woman who feels guilty and ashamed and disgusting can be controlled, we’re given this program by society that it is disgusting if you want to learn about this. Well, why the fuck were we born with a freaking vagina then, bro?

Lani:
So that shame and that hiding… I mean, I can’t say how many women have never… Well, no woman that comes to me has ever had an embodied orgasm. And I’m not saying that you haven’t had orgasms, because I have orgasms, but they were from my head. I would leave my body. I would disassociate. I would go to porn. I would have to flash back to scary events because that was my first experience with sexuality. So it’s not just that you can have an orgasm means your sexual energy is on point. That’s like saying, “I can say I love you, so I’m connected to unconditional love and my self-confidence is fucking legit.” That’s like saying, “I can do a [inaudible 00:06:19], pop up, press handstand, and that means I’m enlightened. I’m this yoga.” No, that’s not what that means. It’s about the feeling.

Lani:
It’s the feeling. And so what turns you on is different from what turns me on. So it’s not about micromanaging and telling you how to… No, it’s a feeling. It’s just, what smell makes you feel sexy? What sound, what touches, what songs, what sense? I might choose to connect to my sexual energy by dancing and moving, while you might choose to do it with a bath and giving yourself time. So it’s not about micromanaging or wrong or right. It’s about a feeling, but we can all agree that feeling guilty and ashamed… And what happens, because nobody wants to feel that way. There’s not one person in the entire world that’s like, “I want to feel disgusting and guilty. And I’m fat,” or “I’m too skinny.” I’ve heard it all. “I want to feel that way.” Of course we don’t want to feel that way. So if we don’t have tools to heal our feminine sexual energy and be in our heart and reprogram those beliefs that every single woman has because a society of men can control women who feel worthless.

Lani:
You cannot control a woman who’s not afraid of rejection. You cannot control a woman who is not afraid of failure. You cannot control a woman who doesn’t give a fuck if you call her a whore, because she knows that she is pure sexual energy. Do you see the difference? Do you see why one works out great for society, and the other one doesn’t not so much, right? Oh God. A whole empire of women who are confident and love themselves and get stronger every day and lift each other up. And because our sexual energy is the basis of our power, we become limitless, unstoppable, fucking mind-blowing. Ohh.

Lani:
So it’s the feeling. And the beautiful thing is, feelings can be changed. Feelings can be learned. If we learned one way, we can learn another way. We can unlearn. It’s the same thing we’re doing with our anti-racism movement. We’re unlearning the shit that society has put on us to control through fear and pain and separation. And we are learning connection, oneness, power, energy. So there’s no compartmentalizing. The moment that I drop being a woman… So no woman’s had an embodied orgasm, but many have never had one and they’ve not had anybody to learn from or talk to about this. And all they have are negative feelings and there’s no way that we’re going to ever… If we have just a guilt connected, we just don’t go there. “I don’t like having sex,” or “I just stick to porn.” We just avoid it.

Lani:
If you don’t have the tools to heal that and bloom like a flower, then we’ll avoid it. I mean, hello? Don’t we do that with shit? That’s too painful. I don’t want to deal with that. I’m avoiding that one. But then we’re left with a bigger elephant in the room and more pain and for not growing, we’re dying. So if it’s not positive momentum, it becomes negative momentum. And then, so we end up like me, 36 years old and suicidal.

Lani:
So my intention for this video is, we are in control of our feminine sexual energy. And don’t use the word control if you’re like a control freak. Let’s just say, I am worthy of pure feminine sexual energy. I thought that I was broken and disgusting and there must be something wrong with me and I was just fucked. I was like, “There’s no chance for me.” And when we actually learn from women who have healed this… It’s like if you freaking had to get surgery on your knee, wouldn’t you want to go to somebody who’s rehabbed that and can talk about it? It doesn’t tell you that you don’t have a chance, and they’re kind and open and they know you feel.

Lani:
It’s no different, but because society doesn’t want us going there because we’re so fucking powerful when we are completely aligned and one and connected. And as we connect to this feminine sexual energy, we connect to every woman’s feminine sexual energy. So I don’t have so much energy and confidence and I’m not slaying it in life because Lani is so special. I connect to more energy and more oneness and mother earth, and so I’m not doing this alone. And it would be uncomfortable if you’ve never been taught this before. And it is your choice to rise up and heal from it. That’s what you get to do as a woman.

Lani:
I think that this is the birthright for us now. We didn’t have these beautiful ceremonies like our indigenous ancestors where we were celebrating it. We were shamed for it. We’re… “Tchh. Whore.” So it’s like now we’re all going through what our daughters and our nieces and the younger generation growing up, my hope is that we get to teach them this is a step into their womanhood as they connect to their sexual energy, right? Is they start menstruating. It’s so beautiful. We are the givers of life. Our essence in and of itself is creation. It doesn’t matter about what you wear. There’s no trauma or abuse that you could have suffered from that can touch this. If the sun is rising, you have access to this, and if you’re breathing, then you can choose this.

Lani:
So let me know in the comments. We’re not going to… I get the negative stuff. I’ve had that, but just saying that out loud again isn’t going to help us. So let’s create a new belief, like “I am worthy of pure sexual energy.” I would love for you to write that in the comments. And then anything else that inspires you after that, some new mantras that you’ll bring in, because you weren’t born with it. It’s learned. And if you show up and put the reps in, you can learn anything. And if you’re ready to learn more about this and go deeper because it’s a safe place and we have to talk about it and learn. You didn’t just teach yourself how to write. We were taught this. You’ve got to come to my free online workshop.

Lani:
All the details and the link is in the description. It’s incredible. It’s amazing. We’ll go so much deeper into this and you’ll just feel absolutely buzzing and inspired and connected after. Make sure you subscribe, hit the bell icon, hit the like button, comment below. “I am worthy of pure sexual energy,” and then your new mantras. Thank you for listening. See you next week. [inaudible 00:12:49].